How dabbling in the Occult almost ruined me…

330px-John_Henry_Fuseli_-_The_Nightmare

The above painting is a very famous painting by Henry Fuseli painted in 1781. This is one of my personal favorite paintings and is a really good representation of an experience I had once.

When I was young I remember as the younger sister being tormented by my older sister. My first supernatural experience was when my sister and I were in our backyard playing and we had this downhill slope in out backyard that led to a very sad dried up creek area, but the best thing about it was this little area where the sun would shine through on all this kudzu that was overgrown and a small weeping willow tree. Right next to this area was a bigger oak tree that had a typical swing hanging from it (by typical I mean literally a board on a rope tied to a branch). I remember my sister racing me down the hill and letting me get on the swing and then she twisted the swing up as tight as she could and let it go, while it spun out of control I saw her run back up the hill just laughing away. I began to get scared because the swing was spinning so fast and felt like it would never stop, and then I saw something…I saw a man standing right up the hill watching me and as the swing continued to spin he would continue to get closer, I was paralyzed at this point. I no longer cared about the spinning of the swing. As the man continue to get closer I closed my eyes tight and got stopped harshly by my sister who heard me crying. This was my first experience.

So like many many other young people, I went through a time period where I questioned religion….ALOT. I was brought up Baptist ( yes I’m southern) and knew and felt at a certain age that I needed to really do some soul searching and find out what I really believed in without any outside influences. (If you’ve ever felt this way please share your experience with me!!)  So this led to a lot of weird mishaps.

I went through an awkward stage where I was Wiccan ( no offense Wiccans) and I very much believed (and still do believe) in the supernatural/spiritual realm. As a hobby I would read Tarot Cards to my friends and we also dabbled in a Quija Board….I know! I know! Bad idea right?! So we knew the rules for the Quija Board, what not to ask it, what was ok to ask, etc. Of course, I was young and rebellious as hell so I didn’t care.

I started to have some very odd experiences which is why I do not partake in the Quija Board anymore and I also no longer believe in referring to the supernatural realm for any answers to any questions I have.

One night about 6 or 7 years ago, I was sleeping in bed and my bed was positioned where my head was next to a window in my room, I was sound asleep and heard someone calling my name almost like they were trying to coax me awake. At first I thought it was my fiancé at the time who was sleeping next to me on the other end but he was sound asleep and no where in the direction of where I heard my name being called. I looked to where I heard my name being called and saw a distorted face in my window. Of course I freaked out and woke my fiancé up and in turn my dad heard the commotion and came into the room also. They believed that it was someone maybe stalking me or trying to mess with me…but I know the truth because I know what I saw and heard.

After this experience and some others, I decided to drop Wicca as a religion and stop dabbling into the Occult. After I stopped dabbling, the experiences almost immediately stopped… granted…anytime my sister and my bestfriend would use the spirit board….if I was in the room the spirits would not speak to them unless I was using the board also….weird right?! So I thought all was good, I had no other bad experiences until about 4 years ago, I was sleeping and I remember waking up and not being able to move. I could move my hands but not my arms, it almost felt like someone or something was sitting on top of me pushing on my chest because I couldn’t breath. It was the scariest thing I have ever experienced because I felt like something was trying to kill me. My door came open with my sister at the other side of it and I immediately was able to move and breath. I have no idea why this happened years after the other experiences.

I have since then found a religion/lifestyle that suits me very well and has nothing to do with talking to spirits (thank goodness!) Since finding Buddhism, I have not had any other experiences and for that I am grateful. The stuff that I was dabbling into was very interesting and I do understand that people are curious and I LOVE that people are curious!! If you have had any experiences like this I would LOVE to know about it and talk about it!! Just please do be careful as to what you practice and remember that there are always consequences to what you do!

XoXo Severed Knowledge

 

Vampirism…Updated!

Hello Hello Everyone!

So to update you with my Vampirism research, the forum is a complete joke. In a matter of TWO days this forum (that shall remain nameless) has convinced me that it was just useless as far as information goes. See I’m not interested in the Vampire “culture” I am interested in the actual myths that surround the tales of vampires and the psychological studies of vampirism. Lets move past this whole “forum” business and move on to REAL information.

I was reading an article on the website, PsychologyToday.com from author, Katherine Ramsland Ph.D. I was interested in a lot of her article actually. I am a bit of a psychology nerd and LOVE the study of abnormal psychology. Ramsland’s article, “Vampire Personality Disorder” mentions her first meeting with psychologist Richard Noll and how they jokingly made up “Renfield’s Syndrome”, For those who do not know who Renfield is, he is the poor helper of Dracula in Bram Stoker’s, Dracula. Having jokingly made up Renfield’s Syndrome they also hypothesized how someone would come to believe they were a vampire.

Vampirism is highly concentrated on one thing…blood. The thought that consuming blood gives you powers, life, an essence that you were missing to begin with. Ramsland and Noll, stated that it had to stem from an experience that you’ve had that somehow connected the experience of sexual excitement and blood together in your psyche. When we are young we are very impressionable and very “moldable”.

Now keep in mind that this conversation going on between both Ramsland and Noll was all happening in jest…this was not a studied or scientific experiment rather just a conversation between colleagues. They also mentioned that with “Renfield’s Syndrome”, it would begin with the early childhood experience which created a sexual link to blood and then later turns into a ingestion of one’s own blood which develops into the ingestion or drinking of other’s blood or animal blood of some kind.

Within this article, Ramsland does state that “Clinical Vampirism” does actually exist, but not in the “Twilight” or “Nosferatu” type of way. She describes that there have been multiple cases of individuals with the “delusional notion” that they are in fact vampires and have to have blood to survive or to give the consumer powers. With these cases the connection with blood is always an erotic one.

Ramsland also jokes about her vampiric condition she named, “Vampire Personailty Disorder” or “VPD” for short. This disorder includes clinical vampires but also killers who act out their blood-crazed fantasies at the cost of hurting others. She also mentions Psychological Vampires, those people in our lives that “leech” off of us or use us.

I don’t know about you but I think Ramsland is onto something! Although Ramsland’s, Vampire Personailty Disorder has not became as famous as Noll’s, Renfield’s Syndrome…I do believe that this topic is fascinating.

XoXo Severed Knowledge

 

Ramsland, K., Ph.D. (2012, November 21). Vampire Personality Disorder. Retrieved August 17, 2017, from http://www.psychologytoday.com

 

Vampirism??

I along with all the Twi-hards of the world have often wondered if vampires are real or if its all just hocus pocus for the big screen. Vampires have for a long time been romanticized by movies and books alike. I remember a couple of years ago I decided I was going to surf the web for the answers because we all know…the internet knows all the answers…right?!? The internet led me to a website which then led me to a forum (that will not be named due to copyright laws) that babbled and carried on about how their forum was THE forum that had all the right answers about anything vampire/occult related. So for research sake I created a false login (which was required to post in the forum) to post an “ad” to seek out a “real” vampire. The first of these ads I sent out stated that I wanted to be “turned”…(later I found out that apparently it is a “no no” to asked to be turned)… but I stated that I wanted to be “turned” and to email me if you were in fact a “real” vampire…a couple of weeks later having completely forgot I even did this, I received an email from a man that stated he was indeed a real vampire. I respectively started to ask him questions about his life (considering he had made the statement that he had lived a long time) and the era he grew up in. He stated he lived on a cotton plantation in North Carolina and was about 300 years old, he gave me names of his sisters, brothers, and parents. Of course me being the nosy and curious person I am, decided to research his “facts” about his life. I came up with nada. Time went past and all was forgotten…until today. I decided to once again find a forum promising me all the answers and giving off the impression that they knew all about the topics of vampirism and occultism, and was once again disappointed. This time I created a false login ( once again required to post anything ) and I simply asked for a “real” vampire to have a conversations with…this post was created today…a couple of hours go by with no response and then I get a response from a person, who pretty much in a “smartass” way tells me that their “community” is a secretive and mysterious group and that they don’t trust “strangers” so he/she highly doubts ill get any replies…(at this point I am strongly believing I may have inadvertently joined a cult). I did in fact respond with a very nice, ” I appreciate your opinion.” and pretty ignored the rest. I then read some of the other posts that people wrote and some of them were rather sad. Some of the people were honestly just curious people and some were young people just wanting answers. All of which were lambs to the slaughter in this forum full of arrogant people. Note to the Wise… sometimes to find the answers its better just to find them yourself, some people love to act like they know everything and will put you down in a second to do it. I am still a very curious and persistent person, so I will be waiting for more responses on this forum. Hopefully I will not be kicked from this forum by an admin or sacrificed in a cult…but after all knowledge is power.

XoXo SeveredKnowledge